You Gotta Love Your Neighbors

I've been on vacation, but when I saw this sign I had to snap a picture and share it with you. Enjoy.

Above Water Again

The last six months have been crazy.

No. More than crazy. What's the next step after crazy? Insane? That's basically the same thing.

Hell? That's a bit much, especially considering the Judeo-Christian view of hell as fire and brimstone.

Let's just say, I was solidly across the crazy line. Then, I went to a 90-minute sales presentation where I learned more about hell, and they gave me a voucher for a complimentary trip to a somewhat-hell-like place, and a $30 gift card to a chain restaurant. I think that sums it up nicely.

I'm usually a positive person. I like to look on the bright side, and as a writer of imaginary stories, I can think up a bright side to about anything.

This time was different. After a while, all the problems and challenges started to wear on me. I never became bitter, but I found myself longing for normal. Instead of looking forward and working through my problems, I wanted to take a couple steps backwards and catch my breath.

Not anymore. Break's over. Get back to work!

I needed the breather, but now it's time to get back on my feet. And funny enough, all of my obstacles are starting to look like platforms I can stand on to climb higher. The obstacles didn't change, just the way I see them.

Annoyingly-positive John is back.

And this is what I learned: Before we can make footprints in the sands of life, we first have to decide to stop leaving butt prints. (Besides, then the sand gets all up in your swimming trunks and the drive home is awful.)

Who's with me?

* Alan Light. What a great name for a photographer. When I saw this sand sculpture on Flickr, I thought, "If I'm going to leave any prints in the sand, I want them to look like this."

Thank You Dan Wells

This morning I was having problems with an electronic gadget, so I took it into the store to get fixed. It always takes a long time, so I decided to grab a book to read. I grabbed Dan Wells's latest. I've been looking forward to reading it for some time.

I got to the store, explained the situation, then I sat down to wait and read.

It was a good time, no one bothered me. I did notice one person behind the counter look in my direction a few times, but whatever. My device was fixed in, surprisingly, record time, and I was on my way.

It wasn't until I left that I realized I was reading a book that was clearly titled "I Don't Want to Kill You".

I'm not saying that the book had anything to do with my uninterrupted reading time or even the speedy repair, but you never know.

Has anyone else gotten better service or more attention using this little trick? If so, I'd like to hear about it. If not, it might work for you.

Keeping Track of NaNoWriMo IRL (In Real Life)

I bet you're wondering why I have a picture of pretty fingernails on my blog today.

My friend and fellow writer, Marta Smith has an awesome way she keeps her NaNoWriMo status. She paints her fingernails blue, and I mean Blue. That's to remind her to write. Then she adds silver crackle to one nail for every 5,000 words she finishes. So her fingernails become a visible progress bar. Isn't that awesome!

I just have one problem: I'm a guy, and as much as I would totally paint my fingernails as a joke or for Halloween, I'm not going to go to work all month with painted fingernails.

So, here are a few ideas for my fellow dudes to track our NaNo status IRL. (Dudettes, you can use them too if you want.)

Public Shaming Option
Go ahead and paint your fingernails just like Marta. Choose a bright, bold color. Then for every 5K words you can remove the paint from one nail.

I predict that the guys who use this option will be finished with their 50K before the first work day of the month (or they'll take a couple sick days).

Discomfort Option #1
While this one is not as effective as the first, it hits a little closer to the wallet.

Go get 10 credit-card-sized cards. These can be from your stash of store rewards cards you barely use, or credit cards, old calling cards, empty gift cards, whatever. You just need 10. Cram them into your wallet. You've got to sit on that uncomfortable beast until you hit your word count goals. For every 5K words take one out.

Discomfort Option #2
This one is similar to the other discomfort option. This time get 10 extra keys and put them on your primary key ring. Not the one you keep in your bag or on your nightstand. I'm talking about the keys you carry with you in your pocket everywhere you go. Painful, I know. But for every 5K words you get to take a key off.

Reverse Progress Bar
Go buy 10 of your favorite candy. Go ahead and get the good stuff, king-sized if you want. When you get home, hot glue all of it to some poster board. For every 5K words, take one off and enjoy. Bonus: If hot glue and poster board isn't manly enough for you feel free to epoxy those suckers to a 2x4.

Discomfort Option #3
This one takes a bit more setup. Get an old T-shirt you don't wear anymore. I know you've got dozens of them. Then buy some Velcro (the kind that already has glue on the back) and 10 bean bags (you can usually pick these up for cheap at your local Goodwill). Attach the bean bags to the shirt with the Velcro. Make sure you use the soft side of the Velcro on the T-shirt.

Throw that lumpy mass of cloth and beans into your favorite recliner or your spot on the couch. You have to sit on it while watching TV, but for every 5K words you finish you can take one bean bag off the shirt.

I hope these ideas inspire some of my fellow writers to keep typing...Keep Typing...KEEP TYPING. We're halfway through. Huzzah!

If you have other creative ways to motivate you through Nano let me know in the comments.

* The photo is a real picture of Marta's nails near the beginning of the month. I think it was taken by Ali Cross. If you want to use it you'll have to get a hold of them. Thanks Ali and Marta for sharing this cool idea.

NaNoWriMo Update

As you know, I'm writing a story for NaNoWriMo that is tentatively titled "I Can Finish This Story in a Month".

It's a small thing, but since I double click on that file hundreds of times it's nice to get the little cheerleader in the back of my mind saying, "I Can Finish This Story in a Month".

So far things are going well. I've written over 9,000 words. Hooray!

Here are few decent quotes.

"We're going to have to run for it." It was a long way around the school. We didn't have much time left, but we could still make it.

I ran to the right, but when I looked back Terry ran to the left. "This way. It's shorter."

"Yes, but this way is faster because you can go faster on the playground."

"Shorter is shorter."

"Faster is faster."

"Fine. You go your way and I'll go mine."

The bell was about the ring, I could feel it. We were going to be late. I didn't wait for him to say anything, I just ran. I didn't even look to see if Terry had come to his senses and followed me. I pounded my feet into the ground and swung my arms hard. I took the first corner and cut across the lawn. My heart started to beat faster and I breathed harder. Sucking air in and out. I weaved between a tree and the flower garden out front where they have the sign that shows all the important dates. Pizza day was coming up soon. I rounded the front of the school. My legs started to get tired, but I kept going. 

There were no cars parked on the curb and all the busses were gone. This was a bad sign. I couldn't see Terry yet, but he'd be coming around his corner soon. We could still make it.

Brrrrrrrrringggggggg!

Or not.

Poor Arthur, he was late for school. Then later that night:

I dreamed I was leading an army of ninjas disguised as guitar playing rock stars against Scott's army of paper sailboats, when someone turned on the lights in my room. It was a good thing too because, surprisingly, Scott was winning. I squinted my eyes shut even harder and brought the blankets over my head. "Not yet, Mom. I'm still tired."

The blankets didn't help. The light shone right through. Ugh. School always came too early. I slipped my head under my pillow then I remembered, today was Saturday. Were we going on a trip? I lifted up one side of the sheets to look at my clock. "It's two in the morning. I want to sleep."

Mom still didn't say anything. That wasn't like her. I felt a strange flicker in my head and along my back. It was like a little bit of electricity going up and down my body. I shivered and slowly pulled back my sheets. The whole room was so bright I couldn't see anything. I covered my eyes with both hands and tried to look through a little crack in one side.

Mom wasn't standing in her normal spot by the lightswitch. Maybe she was getting out clothes.

I spun my head and had to wait even longer for my eyes to adjust. I had one eye mostly uncovered when I saw the body builder. He was huge. His head almost touched the ceiling, his hair and beard was bright red, and he had muscles everywhere. I know because he was only wearing a pair of swim trunks with bright blue flowers printed on them. I pulled the covers over my head again.

To be honest, I don't know how well these quotes will read. I usually like to let things settle in my mind for a few days, but during Nano that's not an option. So, you get what you get.

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo this year? If so, WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING? (Just giving a little helpful encouragement, that's all.)

Laughing with Agents

I suspect most of you already follow Rachelle Gardner's blog. If not, don't worry, you can still repent of this gross omission.

On Friday, she asked "How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Yesterday, she posted the winners, and they are hilarious.

Laughter is a great way to start the week.

* Just eight more days to NaNoWriMo!